Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
