this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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