Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize