So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
