I feel like abortions should bother me more
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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