that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
