like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
