Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Bring me that man meat
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
