I CAN MOONWALK!
you traded sex for a burrito?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize