Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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