What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Randomize
