I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Four minutes until I can fart!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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