how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
