He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
