Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize