No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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