i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
