There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
