Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
