You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
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Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
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I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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