I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm too high and old for this...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
