Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
