I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
