You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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