this boner is exhausting
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
