I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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