You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
