It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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