this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
