First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
