yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
