just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
