this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
