My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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