You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
