I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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