AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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