She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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