Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Rumble strips road head = magical
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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