I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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