Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
