I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
