She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
