He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
