Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
