I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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