:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
