I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize