i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
