the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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