Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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