Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
