you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.