Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?