Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat