sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
