I think I just saw someone hide a body.
...so i touched it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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