we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
