Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.

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(720): I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare. http://tfl.nu/5d0o

Replies (3) Good night (1196) Bad night (746)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial

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(480): I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial http://tfl.nu/135m

Replies (7) Good night (1366) Bad night (975)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.

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(757): I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult. http://tfl.nu/hl6i

Replies (14) Good night (4880) Bad night (823)
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(239): View more from Florida

I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..

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(239): I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high.. http://tfl.nu/0y5k

Replies (19) Good night (5170) Bad night (1195)
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(646): View more from New York

He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone

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(646): He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone http://tfl.nu/7e7m

Replies (13) Good night (5828) Bad night (1156)
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(916): View more from California

day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.

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(916): day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome. http://tfl.nu/5c0j

Replies (10) Good night (6146) Bad night (1188)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop

(213): View more from California

so that means christmas in space?

(781): View more from Massachusetts

imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi

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(781): my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop (213): so that means christmas in space? (781): imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi http://tfl.nu/5ssx

Replies (14) Good night (7128) Bad night (1335)
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(916): View more from California

I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.

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(916): I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was. http://tfl.nu/vzii

Replies (9) Good night (1144) Bad night (2276)
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(815): View more from Illinois

If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again

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(815): If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again http://tfl.nu/myb5

Replies (3) Good night (1626) Bad night (2676)
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(805): View more from California

I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.

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(805): I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it. http://tfl.nu/eeuf

Replies (4) Good night (815) Bad night (1344)
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(347): View more from New York

i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled

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(347): i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled http://tfl.nu/2qi2

Replies (6) Good night (555) Bad night (1186)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

what about money

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

no - he has a code he lives by

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(610): they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n (484): what about money (610): no - he has a code he lives by http://tfl.nu/tp7q

Replies (11) Good night (2537) Bad night (670)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."

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(252): I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE." http://tfl.nu/xtai

Replies (2) Good night (1616) Bad night (414)
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(253): View more from Washington

My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY

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(253): My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY http://tfl.nu/47h0

Replies (3) Good night (338) Bad night (482)
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(406): View more from Montana

The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.

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(406): The golf course isn't that incognito for sex. http://tfl.nu/qp54

Replies (5) Good night (485) Bad night (322)

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