girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
