So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
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Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?