Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...

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  (719): I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel... http://tfl.nu/j6ej
  Replies (13) Good night (2724) Bad night (699)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'

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  (334): i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified' http://tfl.nu/dnlw
  Replies (51) Good night (2981) Bad night (910)
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  (315): View more from New York

  im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!

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  (315): im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone! http://tfl.nu/rzxj
  Replies (41) Good night (3270) Bad night (1180)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party

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  (847): Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party http://tfl.nu/77aw
  Replies (15) Good night (6915) Bad night (741)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.

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  (630): Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on. (217): Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder. http://tfl.nu/huht
  Replies (13) Good night (9196) Bad night (1263)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day

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  (610): I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day http://tfl.nu/7iec
  Replies (16) Good night (3683) Bad night (1102)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I've ID'd the nipple biter.

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  (907): I've ID'd the nipple biter. http://tfl.nu/u45n
  Replies (6) Good night (2340) Bad night (1500)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?

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  (914): Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere? http://tfl.nu/iv7s
  Replies (2) Good night (1069) Bad night (629)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.

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  (781): perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax. http://tfl.nu/ar2h
  Replies (0) Good night (1145) Bad night (1425)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.

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  (412): So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on. http://tfl.nu/mz2g
  Replies (6) Good night (1198) Bad night (752)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny

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  (203): Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny http://tfl.nu/4qb9
  Replies (9) Good night (4155) Bad night (1009)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.

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  (514): I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed. http://tfl.nu/63hq
  Replies (3) Good night (1570) Bad night (582)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here

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  (406): this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here http://tfl.nu/accs
  Replies (5) Good night (511) Bad night (793)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.

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  (+44): Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray. http://tfl.nu/2kem
  Replies (6) Good night (565) Bad night (333)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.

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  (678): Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila. http://tfl.nu/o7tf
  Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (268)

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