Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team