Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.

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  (917): I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer. http://tfl.nu/px5x
  Replies (1) Good night (841) Bad night (1066)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.

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  (617): whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker. http://tfl.nu/hnpp
  Replies (14) Good night (1920) Bad night (912)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines

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  (515): Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines http://tfl.nu/x6qw
  Replies (98) Good night (792) Bad night (3263)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.

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  (413): I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets. http://tfl.nu/8b9j
  Replies (11) Good night (5577) Bad night (1394)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie

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  (513): This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie http://tfl.nu/0ykf
  Replies (30) Good night (4117) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I need new friends

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  (508): Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag (508): I need new friends http://tfl.nu/z8hc
  Replies (83) Good night (1117) Bad night (7866)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar

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  (616): They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar http://tfl.nu/bcnl
  Replies (37) Good night (1468) Bad night (9564)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.

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  (603): Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college. http://tfl.nu/nve2
  Replies (13) Good night (6005) Bad night (1145)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.

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  (407): Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS. http://tfl.nu/pvmv
  Replies (7) Good night (2257) Bad night (879)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.

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  (+64): I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked. http://tfl.nu/59qo
  Replies (5) Good night (3733) Bad night (1042)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!

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  (305): he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!! http://tfl.nu/msw0
  Replies (11) Good night (2361) Bad night (999)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.

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  (859): That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka. http://tfl.nu/6iko
  Replies (1) Good night (1579) Bad night (591)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.

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  (517): Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember. http://tfl.nu/2slr
  Replies (13) Good night (2693) Bad night (826)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.

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  (540): I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time. http://tfl.nu/t7e6
  Replies (11) Good night (760) Bad night (1191)
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  (585): View more from New York

  The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us

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  (585): The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us http://tfl.nu/diix
  Replies (1) Good night (1490) Bad night (414)

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