I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
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I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?