When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
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I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
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Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.