fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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