This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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