he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
