So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
