the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
