I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I party with great urgency now.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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